Why I Love Efteling

We all know Disney adults; you know, those people who are well into their thirties and go to Disneyland/Disneyworld/whatever Disney park is the closest whenever they can, know all the Disney songs by heart and occasionally decorate their houses with Disney merch. I mean, good for them. But I am not one of them. I would like to tell you that the reason why I am not a Disney adult is that I have the enough emotional maturity not to cling to feel-good regressive symbols of my childhood, but I would be lying. In truth, it is because I am an Efteling adult, which is all the more surprising that I only went to Efteling for the first time when I already was a grownup.

If you have never heard of it, Efteling is an amusement park located in Kaatsheuvel, The Netherlands. Well, I’m saying “Kaatsheuvel”, but in reality, it is located on the site of the former hamlet of Eersteling, which, through the magic of diachronic linguistics, has evolved into “Efteling”. So much for my belief that the name had something to do with elves. Nonetheless, here are my three main reasons to love Efteling.

1. It is irreverent

At only two hours from Brussels and one hour and a half from Amsterdam, Efteling is a wonderful alternative to other theme parks in Western Europe if you’re into magic, fairy tales, and the unique Dutch approach to those realms. 

There lies the difference between Efteling and Disney (and other theme parks that I’ve visited): while in those other places things tend to be a little sugarcoated in order to provide a pleasant experience for the whole family thanks to a healthy mix of mainstream American culture and moving naïveté, with a touch of rampant capitalism, Efteling has abandoned neither the quintessential cruelty of fairy tales nor their deeply Germanic roots. 

Let me illustrate this with one of my favourite rides.

Het Spookslot (“The Haunted Castle”)

Something seems off as you enter the ruins of the castle, but it is too late already: the doors have just closed behind us, seemingly on their own, as decidedly sombre music is starting to play. It is Danse Macabre by Saint-Saëns. Something is moving in the church window: a priest has just hung himself to the rope of the bell, and his corpse is bobbing up and down rhythmically as the tombstone are starting to gently sway. Skeletons are waltzing in the cellar, and fresher cadavers are trying to escape their coffins. There is now a full-blown party in the cemetery. On the roof, three ominous characters are watching the scene, and also watching us watch them. The music subsides, and the dead return to their rest. Until next time, of course. 

2022 update: Het Soookslot will close permanently later this year, but it will be replaced by a new ride using the same themes and music. Phew!

Efteling is a magical, cruel, and deeply irreverent place; it escapes the cultural standardisation and the trend to the degree zero of political correctness. It is joyous, almost licentious at times, but full of benevolence too. It is a true pocket of poetry with no equivalent anywhere else. Which leads me to my second point.

2. It is very Dutch

As I was saying earlier, Efteling has stuck to its Dutch identity. It is no surprise: according to the most recent statistics, 94% of the Dutch population have visited the park at least once, with an average of 5.2 visits per inhabitant. The Dutch constitute the biggest chunk of Efteling’s audience, closely followed by the Belgians (mainly from Flanders), then the Germans (from Westphalia), and then the English (Southern England). 

Most rides that involve narrative elements (like explanations as to the context, safety instructions, etc.) are in Dutch. Some of the written material, like at the Villa Volta (a madhouse-type ride based on the Limburg legend of the goat riders) or in Het Sprookjesbos (“The fairytale forest”), has been translated into English, German, and French. Most recorded spoken material is in Dutch only, with the exception of Symbolica (one of the most recent and most popular attractions of Efteling) where some explanations are given in English, but overall, Dutch very much remains the language of the park. And it’s exactly as it should be. 

You might think I’m saying this because I have no problem speaking Dutch, and you would be mistaken. My Dutch can only be qualified as “very poor” if you’re being generous. I learnt it at school, like all Belgians of my generation, but it didn’t stick much and I still need to make enormous efforts to be understood, not to mention remember basic vocabulary. But what’s the use of going to The Netherlands if you’re only going to hear English? 

That being said, if you do not speak Dutch, do not panic. Every park employee I’ve ever met either spoke impeccable English (I mean, they’re Dutch, after all) or was willing to speak their mother tongue very, very slowly. All employees have a series of flags on their badges representing what languages they speak, so if you have a question or a problem, you will always find someone who speaks your language. I’ll personally stick to my broken Dutch because I find it more polite to address people in their own tongue, albeit poorly, and also because I feel that it is part of the experience. If you’re visiting the land of the Elves, then you ought to try and speak Elvish (don’t tell the Dutch I compared their language to a fantasy language, though it is exactly what I think).

This Dutchness does not only translate into the languages spoken in the park.

Anton Piekplein

One example of this is Anton Piekplein (“Anton Piek square”) named after and designed by one of the founders of Efteling, Anton Piek (1895-1987), a Dutch painter and graphic artist whose inimitable style is infused in the park’s last details. With its five carousels, three restaurants and terraces, and its souvenir shop, Anton Piekplein replicates a traditional Dutch village square fair. The Vermolen Carousel (the yellow one with the horses) is the oldest carousel in the Netherlands; it was built in 1865 and purchased by Efteling in the 1980s. 

The carousels on Anton Piekplein definitely aren’t the most exciting rides of Efteling, but they are among my favourites because of their air of nostalgia for an experience which I shared as a Belgian child. Fairy tales are not the only magic deployed at Efteling; memories are a very powerful way to conjure up enchantment too. 

On the side of the Anton Piekplein, you’ll find the Efteling Museum, which I think is a brilliant idea. Opened in 2003, it serves as a reminder of the long history of the park. In its permanent exhibition, you will see artefacts from current and former rides, as well as a comprehensive collection of concept art. The temporary exhibition changes according to anniversaries, new themes, and seasons. 

3. It is very, very pretty

I could write a thousand words about the beauty of Efteling and you wouldn’t be any closer to experiencing it. What you should know is that Efteling has a small but very active community of fans on Instagram, and I encourage you to check out their accounts, the most active of whom is @theeftelingdiaries, a season pass holder who posts very regularly. Also have a look at @loredana.efteling, @eftelimages, @efteling.loverx and @efteling_gekkie — and of course, Efteling’s official account, @Efteling. 

As far as I am concerned, I always take a lot of photographs on each of my visits, which I assume is another common point that Efteling fans have with Disney fans. On this, I leave you with a couple of pictures.

Information

Efteling, Europalaan 1 — 5171 KW Kaatsheuvel, Netherlands.
Tickets from €38.
The opening hours vary according to the time of the year (for example, the park stays open until 10 pm during the summer), so it is best to check the Efteling calendar.
Good to know: Efteling has an app with a map of the park, waiting times for all rides, show times, etc., on which you can also create your own list of favourite rides.
Parking: Efteling offers sufficient parking spots for cars and touring cars. A parking spot costs €12,50 a day. Guests of the Efteling Hotel and Holiday Villages Efteling Bosrijk and Efteling Loonsche Land park for free in the respective central car park.
Accessibility: Visitors with a disability can request a Facility Card on the Efteling website. This card will allow them to use all accessible facilities throughout their stay. The wheelchair desk at the main entrance has a number of wheelchairs available for free and rents out mobility scooters. The employees of the park who know sign language wear an orange badge with a hand drawn on it.
Website: Efteling [in English].

Bonus

Kate Bush singing Moving and Wuthering Heights, at Het Spookslot for a TV special on the 12th of May, 1978, as well as Them Heavy People there and at De Indische Waterlelies (“The Indian Waterlillies”), The Man With The Child In His Eyes by the lake, Strange Phenomena in the waiting hall of Het Spookslot, and The Kick Inside on a boat. Because if you’re going to build a gothic ride, you’d better invite the queen of gothic everything.

Other posts about Efteling

• 
  Why I Love Efteling
• 
  Efteling Hotel comparison: Ravelijn v. Fata Morgana suites

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All texts and pictures ©Ms. Unexpected.

Last updated: 08 June 2022